In previous articles, I have talked about our tendency as human beings and leaders to assume negative intent. When we see someone acting in a way that we can’t explain, or is frustrating, or annoying, we assume negative intent.
But why do we assume negative intent? Our research has shown that there are several factors.
I wake up in the morning and I immediately grab my phone and start scrolling on social media. And I read story after story about people behaving badly.
I read about the Coldplay couple who were cheating on their spouses and got caught at the concert. He is the CEO and she is the VP of HR. What was going on at that company?
And then I read about the lady at the baseball game who took the ball from the boy. How selfish do you have to be to snatch a baseball from a little boy? What is happening in this world?
And then I read about Liver King. For years, he convinced the world that if we want to look like him we need to live a primal living: eating only raw organs. And of course, we have to buy his natural supplements made from liver and kidneys and tripe. He sold millions of dollars of those supplements to young men all over the country.
And every time they asked the Liver King: do you take any steroids or artificial stuff? He said: Never, it’s all natural!. And then one day, his emails got leaked, and it turns out that he was lying: he was taking so many steroids. $12,000 worth of steroids per month! And his whole empire fell apart.
Before that, there was Elizabeth Holmes who convinced everyone that she had reinvented medicine. She claimed to have come up with a miracle device that provides full blood analyses using only one drop of blood. Investors gave her so much money and her company conducted thousands of blood tests. And then it turns out all the data was fake, the device doesn’t work, it never did, and she was lying the whole time. And now she’s in jail.
And before her there was Bernie Madoff and the scam of the century. This constant exposure to lying changes us.
Our brains were not designed to process all this corruption before breakfast. And I start thinking to myself: everyone is lying, everyone is cheating, the whole world is messed up, and I can’t trust anyone.
I can’t help but assuming negative intent.
When we are constantly consuming stories about lying and deception, we unknowingly condition ourselves to expect the worst from ordinary people who are just trying their best. And eventually, cynicism becomes our leadership style. Cynicism and low trust.
In addition to social media and cable news, there are also deep internal & psychological factors that cause us to assume negative intent.
A few weeks ago, I was driving on the highway in Texas. I am minding my own business, listening to music, going at speed limit, and suddenly a big huge truck cuts me off for no reason. I barely have time react to slow down so that I don’t crash.
I was so scared. And angry! What on earth is wrong with this guy? Why does he drive like this? He almost got me killed. My first thought is: what a jerk! In that moment, that’s the only thing I can think about because I only have time to judge his action. And the action looks very reckless.
And that’s what we do: we always judge the action, but never the intention. Psychologists call that “the fundamental attribution error”. When we observe others behaving in ways that scare or frustrate or annoy us, we judge the action.
When others do something wrong, it’s because of them. But when I do something wrong, it’s because of the situation. That is the fundamental attribution error: Other people are terrible, but I am very reasonable.
So there are external and internal factors that predispose us to be cynical. When we see someone acting in a way that we can’t explain, or is frustrating, or annoying, we assume negative intent. And when we bring that with us to work, collaboration suffers, trust is affected, and engagement goes down.
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Dr. Amer Kaissi is a Leadership Keynote Speaker, Professor, Executive Coach and Author of five books. His most recent book is “The Positive Intent Mindset”. He can be found at www.amerkaissi.com