When most people think of executive coaching, they have an image of the coach as a wise old person who has seen it all and done it all, and that has answers for every situation that their coachees are dealing with. The reality, though, is that the power of executive coaching does not just lie in the advice that it provides, but in the questions that it asks.

The best executive coaches are those that hold back on giving instant advice and that ask thought-provoking questions that can help the leader that they are working with move forward. When I am working with leaders, I like to ask them questions that are designed to promote deep reflection and that can’t be answered right away with a “yes/no” answer. The rationale behind asking more questions and giving less advice is that often, the coachee herself already has the answers- she just has not taken the time to uncover them. Moreover, when the coachee comes up with her own solutions with the help of the coach’s questions, she is more likely to commit to action. Only when the coach has exhausted all the answers and the coachee still can’t find an answer, can he offer some advice.

What is really important to note is that this approach of asking deep questions and offering advice selectively does not apply only to executive coaches. Healthcare leaders who are looking to develop their team members can adopt a similar approach to maximize the impact of their conversations with those individuals. Of course, this does not apply to those situations where an obvious answer is available, such as “do you have the document on readmission numbers?” So next time that a subordinate comes to your office with a problem or difficult situation, resist the temptation to “solve the problem” for him, and instead, practice asking some of these powerful questions.

Question 1: “What’s on your mind?”

Avoid small talk and lengthy introductions with this question that works for most situations. The beauty of this opening question is that it allows you to start fast and get to the heart of the matter quickly.

Question 2: “And what else?”

Because the first answer is almost never the best answer or the only answer, “what else” will allow the other person to gain more wisdom, insight and self-awareness, and better discover opportunities. Consider asking this question two or three times, or until you feel that the other person doesn’t have anything left. And remember, when you ask a question and there is a pregnant silence, resist the temptation to ask another question right away. Instead, give the other person the chance to think about the first question. Become comfortable with awkward silence because it means the other person is formulating their thoughts and creating new neural pathways. Take a breath and give them time to think and you might just be impressed with what they come up with.

Question 3: “What is the real challenge here for you?”

Often times, when you give someone the chance to share some events with you, he is more likely to start complaining about someone else. If there are serious well-documented problems with the person they are complaining about, you need to deal with it separately. But if he is just gossiping, you have to end it right there and then. Bitching about a third person is not development, and you can only coach the person in front of you. That is why you should intervene and ask “what’s the real challenge here for you?” Instead of focusing on constantly putting out fires (who said what and who did what), you want to focus on developing the firefighter (coach the person so they can solve the problems on their own).

Question 4: “What do you want?”

This is the foundation question that can help you identify the other person’s needs and wants. It allows you to have mature long-lasting relationships with them, and is a powerful way to untangle complicated feelings.

Question 5: “How can I help?”

Instead of forcing your help on them, give them the chance to tell you what they need from you. This questions presses the other person to think clearly about their situation and it forces her to make a succinct request, which can save you both lots of time and misunderstandings.

Question 6: “What was most useful for you?”

Finish the conversation with this powerful question to reinforce learning and development. Rather than leaving with the feeling that he just had a nice chat with the boss, this question will enable the other person to identify the value and take-home points from the conversation. Also, by framing every conversation as a useful one, you build your image as someone that people can come to when they have an issue.

Bringing It All Together

Executive coaches ask deep, thought-provoking questions that can help their coachees unlock important issues and deal with difficult situations. Leaders who are looking to develop and coach their team members can practice asking similar questions and hold back on giving constant advice. Their efforts will be rewarded by having team members that are mature, self-aware, and able to identify and solve their problems on their own.

The questions highlighted above are selected from the book “The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever” by Michael Bungay Stanier (2016).

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Dr. Amer Kaissi is a Professional Speaker, Executive Coach and an expert on Leadership, Humility & Ambition, Assuming Positive Intent, Psychological Safety & Accountability, Growth Mindsets & Resilience.