Jared is an executive at a large hospital system. Here are some of the things that Jared’s team say about working with him:
“He yells at people and belittles them out where everyone can hear”
“He’s always saying if you don’t like this, I am happy to write you a reference!”
“If you dare question him, he’ll debate you until you’re totally humiliated- crushed!”
“He assumes everyone is stupid and treats us like third graders”
“He’s famous for rolling his eye balls and snorting in contempt”
“The smallest thing can set him off, he’ll slam his fist on the table to make his point”
“His tone conveys I am bright and right- you’re slow and stupid”
These team members often feel humiliated, de-energized and belittled after interacting with Jared, whether in 1:1 or group meetings. He typically aims his venom at people who are less powerful than him and acts all nice and polite with his superiors. Excuse my language, but Jared is an asshole!
Many people have worked or are currently working with someone like Jared. We often refer to these kind of people as jerks or bullies. Robert Sutton, a professor of Management Science and Engineering at Stanford University, irreverently calls them assholes. In 2003, he coined the term asshole at work in an article that appeared in the prestigious Harvard Business Review journal. Sutton admits that he considered using more proper terms such as jerk or bully, but felt that they were watered-down and censored variations that “simply did not have the same ring of authenticity or emotional appeal.” After the article received widespread attention, he wrote a book addressing the same topic by the title of The No Asshole Rule.
There are many negative effects of having assholes in the workplace and their actions can lead to serious damage to others. These effects relate to reduced job satisfaction and productivity, and trouble concentrating at work. They can also cause mental and physical health problems such as difficulty sleeping; anxiety; feelings of worthlessness; chronic fatigue; irritability; anger; and depression. The effects don’t just apply to the victims themselves but extend to battered bystanders such as coworkers, family members, or friends who suffer from the ripple effects of the abuse. But perhaps the most significant impact of assholes is on organizational performance. The costs of increased turnover, absenteeism, decreased commitment to work, distraction and impaired individual performance are well documented in psychological studies. The Total Cost of Assholes or TCA (yes, someone made that up and took the time to measure it!) at one company was estimated to be about $160,000 per salesperson in terms of time spent by management, turnover, overtime cost, anger management and training, among other costs.
Assholes are a problem at any level, but are especially harmful when they are in leadership positions. When some people rise into positions of power, they tend to start acting like assholes. They talk more, take what they want for themselves, disregard what other people say, ignore how their behavior affects others, and generally treat everyone with disdain and rudeness. It is human nature to act that way with even small and insignificant power advantages. Imagine this experiment: a number of college students were divided into groups of three and were asked to discuss a long list of social issues. The researchers assigned at random one member of the group to be the higher power to evaluate the recommendations made by the other two members. After thirty minutes, a plate of five cookies was brought in to each group. The students that were assigned the power position were more likely to take a second cookie, chew with their mouths open, and get crumbs on their faces and on the table- all self-centered types of behaviors. So even in a short experiment, human beings become full of themselves as soon as they are given any type of power over others.
What if Jared was your boss or colleague? How should you deal with him? In a future article, I will some offer some tips and insights about how to deal with assholes at work.
Putting it All Together
Assholes typically use personal insults, invade others’ personal territory, initiate uninvited physical contact and use verbal and non-verbal threats and intimidation. They use sarcastic jokes and teasing, write withering e-mail flames, engage in public shaming or status degradation rituals, rudely interrupt others, spray dirty looks and treat others as if they are invisible. They wreak havoc on their co-workers’ job satisfaction, mental health and productivity and in the process drive their organizations to the ground.
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Dr. Amer Kaissi is a Professional Speaker, Executive Coach and an expert on Leadership, Humility & Ambition, Assuming Positive Intent, Psychological Safety & Accountability, Growth Mindsets & Resilience.
